to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize