Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
