there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
