I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
