booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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