i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
