Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
