And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
