we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
