so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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