It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
