It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My cat gives me a boner
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize