Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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