my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
