You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
