I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
