ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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