I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
