honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize