Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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