I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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