so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
