I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
