the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The adults are the big ones right?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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