My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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