He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
