i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
