he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
send nudes
from the living room?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
