omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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