Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't turn off my feet"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
