Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
