amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
