DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
