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there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize