Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Alive.
So much puke
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
