i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
