How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Randomize
