Kiss
Puke
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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