When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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