nut hugger
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
