mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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