Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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