wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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