is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
