wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
