I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
