Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
