I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
