Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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