Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.

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(612): I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch. http://tfl.nu/mufm

Replies (8) Good night (812) Bad night (1095)
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(917): View more from New York City

i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!

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(917): i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire! http://tfl.nu/yxp7

Replies (12) Good night (4820) Bad night (860)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks

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(508): ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks http://tfl.nu/ycbx

Replies (149) Good night (3538) Bad night (2193)
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(561): View more from Florida

he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.

(1-561): View more from Florida

you for real need to get over him dude

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(561): he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore. (1-561): you for real need to get over him dude http://tfl.nu/fa43

Replies (52) Good night (1075) Bad night (3323)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.

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(610): craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus. http://tfl.nu/0q2j

Replies (11) Good night (2946) Bad night (1222)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"

(973): View more from New Jersey

That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"

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(973): My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items" (973): That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic" http://tfl.nu/yk9d

Replies (13) Good night (4713) Bad night (1172)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.

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(314): Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late. http://tfl.nu/bosu

Replies (17) Good night (5059) Bad night (1298)
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(914): View more from New York

2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine

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(914): 2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine http://tfl.nu/wmh7

Replies (46) Good night (4932) Bad night (2915)
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(949): View more from California

I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.

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(949): I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/uflu

Replies (4) Good night (3271) Bad night (1183)
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(917): View more from New York City

My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.

(917): View more from New York City

Also pregame at mine tomorrow?

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(917): My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat. (917): Also pregame at mine tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/3lzk

Replies (3) Good night (3275) Bad night (1072)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.

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(405): We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out. http://tfl.nu/ia59

Replies (7) Good night (962) Bad night (3266)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Found your dick twin last night

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(402): Found your dick twin last night http://tfl.nu/4id4

Replies (5) Good night (2286) Bad night (886)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.

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(505): The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila. http://tfl.nu/7hos

Replies (6) Good night (1289) Bad night (593)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.

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(708): Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator. http://tfl.nu/0mqk

Replies (5) Good night (836) Bad night (422)
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(206): View more from Washington

there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'

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(206): there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn' http://tfl.nu/cuy3

Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (403)

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