You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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