She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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