I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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