he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest