3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo