Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"