We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
