My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
